Unfortunately for normal people out there, the mainstream media is either too time consuming (or too dull) to properly convey the current events happening around the globe. For that reason, I offer my own summary and analysis of global news in a comedic manner in order to communicate with others the utter hilarity and wonder that is international affairs. -Alina
A Hint of Sarcasm, and International Affairs
Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton returned to work today. She was presented with a gift from her staff: protective head gear - a football helmet with the State Department logo on the side as well as a football jersey with the number 112 on it, for the number of countries the secretary visited during her four-year tenure. (via NBC)
(Source: politicista, via soitgoats)
North Korea Thinks Kim Jong-Un Won Time’s Person of the Year
[Images: Reuters; screenshot]
I feel like the DPRK and Iran keep getting fooled by the Onion. Oh well, karma for being dictatorships.
The Economist discusses what will happen in Venezuela after Chavez. Prior to the election, Chavez insisted his cancer was not going to affect his ability to rule—except he keeps running to his buddy Fidel Castro in Cuba for cancer treatment. Now there’s speculation if he’s even healthy enough to be inaugurated on Jan. 10. Oh dear…
(Source: economist.com)
Ms. ParkGeun-Hye herself, ROK’s possible first female president.
My oh my! With all the talk about North Korea, it’s often easy to forget about its friendlier neighbor South Korea. But, lo and behold, the incumbent New Frontier Party’s candidate is Park Geun-Hye.
To add more intrigue, Park is the daughter of Park Chung-Hee a former leader (slash dictator) of South Korea who pulled the country out of poverty and sort of kind of repressed people for 18 years. Even three decades after he was assassinated, he is still an over-shadowing presence on the campaign—some admire him, some despise him. Park did actually play a role in her father’s reign in her early twenties, stepping into the position of First Lady after her mother was assassinated in 1974. Now sixty, she has much experience in government, having served as an MP for over 15 years.
In any case, we’ll see what will happen. The most prevalent campaign issues thus far have been the widening income gap, unemployment and what to do about North Korea (shock).
Park says she’ll focus on social welfare whereas her opponent, the liberal human rights lawyer Moon Jae-in, wants to raise minimum wage and cut down on temporary workers in the private sector. Kim wants “unconditional talks” with the DPRK while Park favors building a “trustpolitik.”
In any case, for a country that ranks just above Kuwait on the World Economic Forum for gender equality, this election is certainly going to be a historic one.
(Source: aljazeera.com)
Ooh. Hot. Dang.
It’s common knowledge that Israel continues to build Israeli settlements in the Occupied Territories that is technically supposed to be part of Palestine, if a two-state solution ever occurs. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Palestinians are a little annoyed with Israelis building in what they (and international law) see as their territory and it’s been a big issue in peace negotiations between the two.
But the US rebuking Israel for anything??? Whoa, man. Obama’s really gonna get down down and dirty second term. That awkward moment when Bibi Netanyahu’s like, “Maybe I should’ve been nicer to this guy first term…”
And there is a new heir apparent to the Presidency of South Africa once Zuma leaves office.
The NY Times describes him as “a union leader turned business tycoon.” Can we just take a moment?
(via ircats)
You remember last year when they had that bipartisan committee to solve the debt crisis? And how their solution was like, “I know! In order to make sure we do compromise, if we don’t solve the debt crisis within a certain time we’ll make something really, really, really bad happen.”
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with the fiscal cliff. Our government is amazing.
